Question from a satsanggi:
I have been asked to do some specific Shabads for an engagement ceremony.
One just occurred to me, and I am sure Manjeet Ji would add several others.
ਸੇ ਸੰਜੋਗ ਕਰਹੁ ਮੇਰੇ ਪਿਆਰੇ (SGGS Ang 743)
“Se sanjog karah mere piaray…”
Your help will be most appreciated!
Response by Bhai Manjeet Singh:
In Gurbani “sagaayi” or “manganee” (engagement) is called “kurhmayee”.
Logically kurhmayee will be before the actual marriage.
The “Laavan” Bani is found at SGGS Ang 773.
Just before that is the “kurhmayee” Shabad where we find the words ” kurham kurhmayee aaya”.
ਸਤੁ ਸੰਤੋਖੁ ਕਰਿ ਭਾਉ ਕੁੜਮੁ ਕੁੜਮਾਈ ਆਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ
“Sat santokh kar bhaao kurham kurhmaaee aaiaa bal ram jeeo)
In the 1st pada there is a desire to meet the Guru and to be rid of all negativity.
ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਪੁਰਖੁ ਮਿਲਾਇ ਅਵਗਣ ਵਿਕਣਾ ਗੁਣ ਰਵਾ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ
“Satgur purakh milaiye’ avgun vikna gun reva bal raam jio…”
The 2nd pada speaks of the Godly attributes of sat, santokh and bhao. These have now come to do the engagement.
ਸਤੁ ਸੰਤੋਖੁ ਕਰਿ ਭਾਉ ਕੁੜਮੁ ਕੁੜਮਾਈ ਆਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ
“Sat santokh kar bhao kurham kurhmayee aaya bal raam jio..”
This is done openly. Not in secret.
ਸੰਤ ਜਨਾ ਕਰਿ ਮੇਲੁ ਗੁਰਬਾਣੀ ਗਾਵਾਈਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ
“Sant janna kar mel gurbani gavaiya bal raam jio.”
After the kurhmaiyee, in the 3rd pada the bride soul realises she is indeed fortunate to be engaged with the Satguru. Those unfortunate manmukhs wander about in misery.
ਉਝੜ ਪੰਥਿ ਭ੍ਰਮੈ ਗਾਵਾਰੀ ਖਿਨੁ ਖਿਨੁ ਧਕੇ ਖਾਇਆ
“Ujjarh panth bhramay gavari khin khin dhakay khaiya..”
The 4th pada speaks now of the impending marriage since the kurhmayee is done. The marriage date is set and the jeev isteri is full of joy.
ਆਇਆ ਲਗਨੁ ਗਣਾਇ ਹਿਰਦੈ ਧਨ ਓਮਾਹੀਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ
“Aaya laggan ganaiye hirday dhan umahiya bal raam jio.”
The wise members of her family now resolve to get her married immediately.
ਗੁਣੀ ਗਿਆਨੀ ਬਹਿ ਮਤਾ ਪਕਾਇਆ ਫੇਰੇ ਤਤੁ ਦਿਵਾਏ
“Guni gyani beh mata pakaiya feray tatt divaiye.” (tatt here means “tattkaal” – immediate).
This marriage is forever.
ਨਾਨਕ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਕਰਿ ਕੈ ਮੇਲੇ ਵਿਛੁੜਿ ਕਦੇ ਨ ਜਾਈ
” Nanak kirpa kar ke melay vicharh kaday na jaaiye”.
The actual marriage is described in the Laavan Shantt which follows next.
Those who argue there is no need for “feray” should look at the Laavan hymn intently. The word “laav” means to have feray or do parikarma..
Gurfateh.
Manjeet Singh
March 12, 2017
