(As he stepped out of Subang Darbar Bhai Manjeet Singh Ji was asked to share some views on Father’s Day. The following was delivered on 15th June 2014)
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh
Father’s Day is celebrated every year on the 3rd Sunday in June. It was created to complement Mother’s Day, a day which honors mothers and motherhood.
Unlike Mother’s Day which was officially celebrated from 1914, fathers got their official day only in 1972, when it was signed into law by President Nixon. Bang goes the theory that it is all a man’s world.!
There is no Father’s Day in Sikhism. Respect for elders including your parents is expected throughout the year. Nevertheless, since such a day celebrates noble ideals of respect for one’s father, such days are increasingly being celebrated by Sikh families and Institutions.
A father plays a pivotal role in any family. He is one of the two pillars of any decent family household.
Before the advent of Guru Nanak Dev Ji, most fathers were quite irresponsible and shirked their duties. After having a few children, it was common for the men to abandon their families. They wandered around in search of higher spirituality and God. Needless to say, such searches were utter failures.
In a stirring Shabad at Ang 1348 [Raag Parbhati], Guru Arjun Dev Ji describes such futile attempts and shows that the only way to God is by taking the sharan of a Satguru and it is the ‘man’, your mind which needs to be channelled towards God.
Guru Ji says…
ਪ੍ਰਭਾਤੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥ (Ang 1347)
Prabhaathee Mehalaa 5 ||
Prabhaatee, Fifth Mehl:
ਮਨ ਮਹਿ ਕ੍ਰੋਧੁ ਮਹਾ ਅਹੰਕਾਰਾ ॥ (Ang 1348)
Man Mehi Krodhh Mehaa Ahankaaraa ||
Within the mind dwell anger and massive ego.
ਪੂਜਾ ਕਰਹਿ ਬਹੁਤੁ ਬਿਸਥਾਰਾ ॥
Poojaa Karehi Bahuth Bisathhaaraa ||
Worship services are performed with great pomp and ceremony.
ਕਰਿ ਇਸਨਾਨੁ ਤਨਿ ਚਕ੍ਰ ਬਣਾਏ ॥
Kar Eisanaan Than Chakr Banaaeae ||
Ritual cleansing baths are taken, and sacred marks are applied to the body.
ਅੰਤਰ ਕੀ ਮਲੁ ਕਬ ਹੀ ਨ ਜਾਏ ॥੧॥
Anthar Kee Mal Kab Hee N Jaaeae ||1||
But still, the filth and pollution within never depart. ||1||
ਇਤੁ ਸੰਜਮਿ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਕਿਨ ਹੀ ਨ ਪਾਇਆ ॥
Eith Sanjam Prabh Kin Hee N Paaeiaa ||
No one has ever found God in this way.
ਭਗਉਤੀ ਮੁਦ੍ਰਾ ਮਨੁ ਮੋਹਿਆ ਮਾਇਆ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
Bhagouthee Mudhraa Man Mohiaa Maaeiaa ||1|| Rehaao ||
The sacred mudras – ritualistic hand gestures – are made, but the mind remains enticed by Maya. ||1||Pause||
ਪਾਪ ਕਰਹਿ ਪੰਚਾਂ ਕੇ ਬਸਿ ਰੇ ॥
Paap Karehi Panchaan Kae Bas Rae ||
They commit sins, under the influence of the five thieves.
ਤੀਰਥਿ ਨਾਇ ਕਹਹਿ ਸਭਿ ਉਤਰੇ ॥
Theerathh Naae Kehehi Sabh Outharae ||
They bathe at sacred shrines, and claim that everything has been washed off.
ਬਹੁਰਿ ਕਮਾਵਹਿ ਹੋਇ ਨਿਸੰਕ ॥
Bahur Kamaavehi Hoe Nisank ||
Then they commit them again, without fear of the consequences.
ਜਮ ਪੁਰਿ ਬਾਂਧਿ ਖਰੇ ਕਾਲੰਕ ॥੨॥
Jam Pur Baandhh Kharae Kaalank ||2||
The sinners are bound and gagged, and taken to the City of Death. ||2||
ਘੂਘਰ ਬਾਧਿ ਬਜਾਵਹਿ ਤਾਲਾ ॥
Ghooghar Baadhh Bajaavehi Thaalaa ||
The ankle-bells shake and the cymbals vibrate,
ਅੰਤਰਿ ਕਪਟੁ ਫਿਰਹਿ ਬੇਤਾਲਾ ॥
Anthar Kapatt Firehi Baethaalaa ||
But those who have deception within wander lost like demons.
ਵਰਮੀ ਮਾਰੀ ਸਾਪੁ ਨ ਮੂਆ ॥
Varamee Maaree Saap N Mooaa ||
By destroying its hole, the snake is not killed.
ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਸਭ ਕਿਛੁ ਜਾਨੈ ਜਿਨਿ ਤੂ ਕੀਆ ॥੩॥
Prabh Sabh Kishh Jaanai Jin Thoo Keeaa ||3||
God, who created you, knows everything. ||3||
ਪੂੰਅਰ ਤਾਪ ਗੇਰੀ ਕੇ ਬਸਤ੍ਰਾ ॥
Poonar Thaap Gaeree Kae Basathraa ||
You worship fire and wear saffron colored robes.
ਅਪਦਾ ਕਾ ਮਾਰਿਆ ਗ੍ਰਿਹ ਤੇ ਨਸਤਾ ॥
Apadhaa Kaa Maariaa Grih Thae Nasathaa ||
Stung by your misfortune, you abandon your home.
ਦੇਸੁ ਛੋਡਿ ਪਰਦੇਸਹਿ ਧਾਇਆ ॥
Dhaes Shhodd Paradhaesehi Dhhaaeiaa ||
Leaving your own country, you wander in foreign lands.
ਪੰਚ ਚੰਡਾਲ ਨਾਲੇ ਲੈ ਆਇਆ ॥੪॥
Panch Chanddaal Naalae Lai Aaeiaa ||4||
But you bring the five rejects with you. ||4||
ਕਾਨ ਫਰਾਇ ਹਿਰਾਏ ਟੂਕਾ ॥
Kaan Faraae Hiraaeae Ttookaa ||
You have split your ears, and now you steal crumbs.
ਘਰਿ ਘਰਿ ਮਾਂਗੈ ਤ੍ਰਿਪਤਾਵਨ ਤੇ ਚੂਕਾ ॥
Ghar Ghar Maangai Thripathaavan Thae Chookaa ||
You beg from door to door, but you fail to be satisfied.
ਬਨਿਤਾ ਛੋਡਿ ਬਦ ਨਦਰਿ ਪਰ ਨਾਰੀ ॥
Banithaa Shhodd Badh Nadhar Par Naaree ||
You have abandoned your own wife, but now you sneak glances at other women.
ਵੇਸਿ ਨ ਪਾਈਐ ਮਹਾ ਦੁਖਿਆਰੀ ॥੫॥
Vaes N Paaeeai Mehaa Dhukhiaaree ||5||
God is not found by wearing religious robes; you are utterly miserable! ||5||
ਬੋਲੈ ਨਾਹੀ ਹੋਇ ਬੈਠਾ ਮੋਨੀ ॥
Bolai Naahee Hoe Baithaa Monee ||
He does not speak; he is on silence.
ਅੰਤਰਿ ਕਲਪ ਭਵਾਈਐ ਜੋਨੀ ॥
Anthar Kalap Bhavaaeeai Jonee ||
But he is filled with desire; he is made to wander in reincarnation.
ਅੰਨ ਤੇ ਰਹਤਾ ਦੁਖੁ ਦੇਹੀ ਸਹਤਾ ॥
Ann Thae Rehathaa Dhukh Dhaehee Sehathaa ||
Abstaining from food, his body suffers in pain.
ਹੁਕਮੁ ਨ ਬੂਝੈ ਵਿਆਪਿਆ ਮਮਤਾ ॥੬॥
Hukam N Boojhai Viaapiaa Mamathaa ||6||
He does not realize the Hukam of the Lord’s Command; he is afflicted by possessiveness. ||6||
ਬਿਨੁ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਕਿਨੈ ਨ ਪਾਈ ਪਰਮ ਗਤੇ ॥
Bin Sathigur Kinai N Paaee Param Gathae ||
Without the True Guru, no one has attained the supreme status.
ਪੂਛਹੁ ਸਗਲ ਬੇਦ ਸਿੰਮ੍ਰਿਤੇ ॥
Pooshhahu Sagal Baedh Sinmrithae ||
Go ahead and ask all the Vedas and the Simritees.
ਮਨਮੁਖ ਕਰਮ ਕਰੈ ਅਜਾਈ ॥
Manamukh Karam Karai Ajaaee ||
The self-willed manmukhs do useless deeds.
ਜਿਉ ਬਾਲੂ ਘਰ ਠਉਰ ਨ ਠਾਈ ॥੭॥
Jio Baaloo Ghar Thour N Thaaee ||7||
They are like a house of sand, which cannot stand. ||7||
ਜਿਸ ਨੋ ਭਏ ਗ ਬਿੰਦ ਦਇਆਲਾ ॥
Jis No Bheae Guobindh Dhaeiaalaa ||
One unto whom the Lord of the Universe becomes Merciful,
ਗੁਰ ਕਾ ਬਚਨੁ ਤਿਨਿ ਬਾਧਿਓ ਪਾਲਾ ॥
Gur Kaa Bachan Thin Baadhhiou Paalaa ||
Sews the Word of the Guru’s Shabad into his robes.
ਕੋਟਿ ਮਧੇ ਕੋਈ ਸੰਤੁ ਦਿਖਾਇਆ ॥
Kott Madhhae Koee Santh Dhikhaaeiaa ||
Out of millions, it is rare that such a Saint is seen.
ਨਾਨਕੁ ਤਿਨ ਕੈ ਸੰਗਿ ਤਰਾਇਆ ॥੮॥
Naanak Thin Kai Sang Tharaaeiaa ||8||
O Nanak, with him, we are carried across. ||8||
ਜੇ ਹੋਵੈ ਭਾਗੁ ਤਾ ਦਰਸਨੁ ਪਾਈਐ ॥
Jae Hovai Bhaag Thaa Dharasan Paaeeai ||
If one has such good destiny, then the Blessed Vision of His Darshan is obtained.
ਆਪਿ ਤਰੈ ਸਭੁ ਕੁਟੰਬੁ ਤਰਾਈਐ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ਦੂਜਾ ॥੨॥
Aap Tharai Sabh Kuttanb Tharaaeeai ||1|| Rehaao Dhoojaa ||2||
He saves himself, and carries across all his family as well. ||1||SECOND PAUSE||2||
That was the sorry state and conduct by most fathers in 15th century India. Irresponsible and shirking their duties as fathers.
Guru Ji’s teachings were dynamic, pragmatic and practical. The Sikh Gurus preached that the ideal was a householder’s life. A householder’s life ensured there was balance and social order in society and there were roles for each parent. These roles often overlap but Gurbani does tell us many things special about fathers.
There are two Sloks in Japji Sahib. The first Slok
ਆਦਿ ਸਚੁ ਜੁਗਾਦਿ ਸਚੁ ॥ ਹੈ ਭੀ ਸਚੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਹੋਸੀ ਭੀ ਸਚੁ ॥੧॥
Aadh Sach Jugaadh Sach || Hai Bhee Sach Naanak Hosee Bhee Sach ||1||
True In The Primal Beginning. True Throughout The Ages. True Here And Now. O Nanak, Forever And Ever True. ||1||
speaks of the entire Cosmos. His nature is True, i.e. imperishable, eternal, pervading, perfect, infinite, and all the other shades of True. That this is a Slok is testified by Guru Arjun Dev Ji when he sets this same Slok (with some difference in spelling) as the Slok preceding Astpadhi 17 of Sukhmani. This Slok expresses God’s nature in the entire universe. It is macroscopic.
In the concluding Slok of Japji, Guru Nanak Dev Ji says in mystical terms…
ਪਵਣੁ ਗੁਰੂ ਪਾਣੀ ਪਿਤਾ ਮਾਤਾ ਧਰਤਿ ਮਹਤੁ ॥
Pavan Guroo Paanee Pithaa Maathaa Dhharath Mehath ||
Air is the Guru, Water is the Father, and Earth is the Great Mother of all.
Here Guru Ji looks at the world and how the elements relate to us. It is microscopic and looks at man’s relationship with the world, whilst the earlier Slok looks at the entire universe.
Literally, the Guru is as essential as air for existence whilst the father is as important to us as water is in our daily lives. Water is essential for our daily chores, cleanliness and body needs. That establishes the importance of a father in our lives.
Of course, when we speak of fathers, we also refer to their relationship with their children. In an ordinary home, the father is adored by his children. At Ang 596, Sorath Mehla 1, we are told …
ਮਾਇ ਬਾਪ ਕੋ ਬੇਟਾ ਨੀਕਾ ਸਸੁਰੈ ਚਤੁਰੁ ਜਵਾਈ ॥
Maae Baap Ko Baettaa Neekaa Sasurai Chathur Javaaee ||
The son is dear to his mother and father; he is the wise son-in-law to his father-in-law.
ਬਾਲ ਕੰਨਿਆ ਕੌ ਬਾਪੁ ਪਿਆਰਾ ਭਾਈ ਕੌ ਅਤਿ ਭਾਈ ॥
Baal Kanniaa Ka Baap Piaaraa Bhaaee Ka Ath Bhaaee ||
The father is dear to his son and daughter, and the brother is very dear to his brother.
‘The son is dear to his father and mother as is the wise son in law to his in laws. The father is dear to his son and daughter and the brother is dear to his brother.’
At more than one place in SGGS Ji, the father’s caring and playful nature is stated.
At Ang 1076, for example we are told.
ਹਰਿ ਕੇ ਭਗਤ ਸਦਾ ਸੁਖਵਾਸੀ ॥
Har Kae Bhagath Sadhaa Sukhavaasee ||
The devotees of the Lord dwell forever in peace.
ਬਾਲ ਸੁਭਾਇ ਅਤੀਤ ਉਦਾਸੀ ॥
Baal Subhaae Atheeth Oudhaasee ||
With a child-like, innocent nature, they remain detached, turning away from the world.
ਅਨਿਕ ਰੰਗ ਕਰਹਿ ਬਹੁ ਭਾਤੀ ਜਿਉ ਪਿਤਾ ਪੂਤੁ ਲਾਡਾਇਦਾ ॥੧੪॥
Anik Rang Karehi Bahu Bhaathee Jio Pithaa Pooth Laaddaaeidhaa ||14||
They enjoy various pleasures in many ways; God caresses them, like a father caressing his son. ||14||
‘The saints of the Lord dwell forever in peace, with a child like innocence they remain detached from the world. They enjoy various pleasures in many ways; just as if a father were lovingly caressing his son’.
Again, Ang 1081, we find Maru Solhe Mehla 5,
ਤੂ ਪਿਤਾ ਸਭਿ ਬਾਰਿਕ ਥਾਰੇ ॥
Thoo Pithaa Sabh Baarik Thhaarae ||
You are our father; we are all Your children.
ਜਿਉ ਖੇਲਾਵਹਿ ਤਿਉ ਖੇਲਣਹਾਰੇ ॥
Jio Khaelaavehi Thio Khaelanehaarae ||
We play as You cause us to play.
Apart from their nature to playfully engage their children, fathers have duties too. These duties are also expressed in Gurbani. At Ang 78, Guru Ramdas Ji in the Shabad beginning
ਸਿਰੀਰਾਗੁ ਮਹਲਾ ੪ ਘਰੁ ੨ ਛੰਤ
Sireeraag Mehalaa 4 Ghar 2 Shhantha
Siree Raag, Fourth Mehl, Second House, Chhant:
ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ ॥
Ik Oankaar Sathigur Prasaadh ||
One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:
ਮੁੰਧ ਇਆਣੀ ਪੇਈਅੜੈ ਕਿਉ ਕਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਦਰਸਨੁ ਪਿਖੈ ॥
Mundhh Eiaanee Paeeearrai Kio Kar Har Dharasan Pikhai ||
How can the ignorant soul-bride obtain the Blessed Vision of the Lord’s Darshan, while she is in this world of her father’s home?
ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਅਪਨੀ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਕਰੇ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਸਾਹੁਰੜੈ ਕੰਮ ਸਿਖੈ ॥
Har Har Apanee Kirapaa Karae Guramukh Saahurarrai Kanm Sikhai ||
When the Lord Himself grants His Grace, the Gurmukh learns the duties of her Husband’s Celestial Home.
speaks of a jeev isteri who is looking forward to union with the Lord, her Celestial Spouse. As she prepares to leave her father’s home to dwell in her Husband’s, home she makes a request of her father.
ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੁਲਾ ਹਰਿ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਮੈ ਦਾਜੋ ॥ (Ang 78)
Har Prabh Maerae Baabulaa Har Dhaevahu Dhaan Mai Dhaajo ||
O my father, give me the Name of the Lord God as my wedding gift and dowry.
ਹਰਿ ਕਪੜੋ ਹਰਿ ਸੋਭਾ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਜਿਤੁ ਸਵਰੈ ਮੇਰਾ ਕਾਜੋ ॥ (Ang 79)
Har Kaparro Har Sobhaa Dhaevahu Jith Savarai Maeraa Kaajo ||
Give me the Lord as my wedding gown, and the Lord as my glory, to accomplish my works.
ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਭਗਤੀ ਕਾਜੁ ਸੁਹੇਲਾ ਗੁਰਿ ਸਤਿਗੁਰਿ ਦਾਨੁ ਦਿਵਾਇਆ ॥
Har Har Bhagathee Kaaj Suhaelaa Gur Sathigur Dhaan Dhivaaeiaa ||
Through devotional worship to the Lord, this ceremony is made blissful and beautiful; the Guru, the True Guru, has given this gift.
ਖੰਡਿ ਵਰਭੰਡਿ ਹਰਿ ਸੋਭਾ ਹੋਈ ਇਹੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਨ ਰਲੈ ਰਲਾਇਆ ॥
Khandd Varabhandd Har Sobhaa Hoee Eihu Dhaan N Ralai Ralaaeiaa ||
Across the continents, and throughout the Universe, the Lord’s Glory is pervading. This gift is not diminished by being diffused among all.
ਹੋਰਿ ਮਨਮੁਖ ਦਾਜੁ ਜਿ ਰਖਿ ਦਿਖਾਲਹਿ ਸੁ ਕੂੜੁ ਅਹੰਕਾਰੁ ਕਚੁ ਪਾਜੋ ॥
Hor Manamukh Dhaaj J Rakh Dhikhaalehi S Koorr Ahankaar Kach Paajo ||
Any other dowry, which the self-willed manmukhs offer for show, is only false egotism and a worthless display.
ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੁਲਾ ਹਰਿ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਮੈ ਦਾਜੋ ॥੪॥
Har Prabh Maerae Baabulaa Har Dhaevahu Dhaan Mai Dhaajo ||4||
O my father, please give me the Name of the Lord God as my wedding gift and dowry. ||4||
From the Shabad it becomes clear that a father must have this ‘daan’ of Naam with himself before he can give it away to the jeev isteri i.e. to his child.
From this flow, the teachings in SGGS Ji says that a father should impart knowledge of Gurbani/Naam to his children. Worldly goods given as dowry are treated with disdain as the line:
ਹੋਰਿ ਮਨਮੁਖ ਦਾਜੁ ਜਿ ਰਖਿ ਦਿਖਾਲਹਿ ਸੁ ਕੂੜੁ ਅਹੰਕਾਰੁ ਕਚੁ ਪਾਜੋ ॥ (Ang 79)
Hor Manamukh Dhaaj J Rakh Dhikhaalehi S Koorr Ahankaar Kach Paajo ||
Any other dowry, which the self-willed manmukhs offer for show, is only false egotism and a worthless display.
ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਮੇਰੇ ਬਾਬੁਲਾ ਹਰਿ ਦੇਵਹੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਮੈ ਦਾਜੋ ॥੪॥
Har Prabh Maerae Baabulaa Har Dhaevahu Dhaan Mai Dhaajo ||4||
O my father, please give me the Name of the Lord God as my wedding gift and dowry. ||4||
A father is expected to teach his children values of truth and righteousness. At Ang 1266, in Raag Malar Guru Arjun Dev Ji speaks of God’s nature. Although the Shabad dwells on God’s nature, it deals about His nature as a loving father. From this Shabad we can gather qualities which a good father should have. The Shabad says..
ਮਲਾਰ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥ (Ang 1266)
Malaar Mehalaa 5 ||
Malaar, Fifth Mehl:
ਖੀਰ ਅਧਾਰਿ ਬਾਰਿਕੁ ਜਬ ਹੋਤਾ ਬਿਨੁ ਖੀਰੈ ਰਹਨੁ ਨ ਜਾਈ ॥
Kheer Adhhaar Baarik Jab Hothaa Bin Kheerai Rehan N Jaaee ||
When the baby’s only food is milk, it cannot survive without its milk.
ਸਾਰਿ ਸਮ੍ਹ੍ਹਾਲਿ ਮਾਤਾ ਮੁਖਿ ਨੀਰੈ ਤਬ ਓਹੁ ਤ੍ਰਿਪਤਿ ਅਘਾਈ ॥੧॥
Saar Samhaal Maathaa Mukh Neerai Thab Ouhu Thripath Aghaaee ||1||
The mother takes care of it, and pours milk into its mouth; then, it is satisfied and fulfilled. ||1||
ਹਮ ਬਾਰਿਕ ਪਿਤਾ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਦਾਤਾ ॥
Ham Baarik Pithaa Prabh Dhaathaa ||
I am just a baby; God, the Great Giver, is my Father.
ਭੂਲਹਿ ਬਾਰਿਕ ਅਨਿਕ ਲਖ ਬਰੀਆ ਅਨ ਠਉਰ ਨਾਹੀ ਜਹ ਜਾਤਾ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
Bhoolehi Baarik Anik Lakh Bareeaa An Thour Naahee Jeh Jaathaa ||1|| Rehaao ||
The child is so foolish; it makes so many mistakes. But it has nowhere else to go. ||1||Pause||
ਚੰਚਲ ਮਤਿ ਬਾਰਿਕ ਬਪੁਰੇ ਕੀ ਸਰਪ ਅਗਨਿ ਕਰ ਮੇਲੈ ॥
Chanchal Math Baarik Bapurae Kee Sarap Agan Kar Maelai ||
The mind of the poor child is fickle; he touches even snakes and fire.
ਮਾਤਾ ਪਿਤਾ ਕੰਠਿ ਲਾਇ ਰਾਖੈ ਅਨਦ ਸਹਜਿ ਤਬ ਖੇਲੈ ॥੨॥
Maathaa Pithaa Kanth Laae Raakhai Anadh Sehaj Thab Khaelai ||2||
His mother and father hug him close in their embrace, and so he plays in joy and bliss. ||2||
ਜਿਸ ਕਾ ਪਿਤਾ ਤੂ ਹੈ ਮੇਰੇ ਸੁਆਮੀ ਤਿਸੁ ਬਾਰਿਕ ਭੂਖ ਕੈਸੀ ॥
Jis Kaa Pithaa Thoo Hai Maerae Suaamee This Baarik Bhookh Kaisee ||
What hunger can the child ever have, O my Lord and Master, when You are his Father?
ਨਵ ਨਿਧਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਨਿਧਾਨੁ ਗ੍ਰਿਹਿ ਤੇਰੈ ਮਨਿ ਬਾਂਛੈ ਸੋ ਲੈਸੀ ॥੩॥
Nav Nidhh Naam Nidhhaan Grihi Thaerai Man Baanshhai So Laisee ||3||
The treasure of the Naam and the nine treasures are in Your celestial household. You fulfill the desires of the mind. ||3||
ਪਿਤਾ ਕ੍ਰਿਪਾਲਿ ਆਗਿਆ ਇਹ ਦੀਨੀ ਬਾਰਿਕੁ ਮੁਖਿ ਮਾਂਗੈ ਸੋ ਦੇਨਾ ॥
Pithaa Kirapaal Aagiaa Eih Dheenee Baarik Mukh Maangai So Dhaenaa ||
My Merciful Father has issued this Command: whatever the child asks for, is put into his mouth.
ਨਾਨਕ ਬਾਰਿਕੁ ਦਰਸੁ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਚਾਹੈ ਮੋਹਿ ਹ੍ਰਿਦੈ ਬਸਹਿ ਨਿਤ ਚਰਨਾ ॥੪॥੨॥
Naanak Baarik Dharas Prabh Chaahai Mohi Hridhai Basehi Nith Charanaa ||4||2||
Nanak, the child, longs for the Blessed Vision of God’s Darshan. May His Feet always dwell within my heart. ||4||2||
From this Shabad we note that God is described as ‘pita prabh dataa’. God is of course the Giver, but on a worldly level it is the duty of a father to provide for his children. Just as on a spiritual level there is no real sanctuary besides God, on a worldly level a father’s home is best sanctuary and support for any child.
Children are apt to get themselves into difficulties and make all kinds of mistakes as the line
ਚੰਚਲ ਮਤਿ ਬਾਰਿਕ ਬਪੁਰੇ ਕੀ ਸਰਪ ਅਗਨਿ ਕਰ ਮੇਲੈ ॥ (Ang 1266)
Chanchal Math Baarik Bapurae Kee Sarap Agan Kar Maelai ||
The mind of the poor child is fickle; he touches even snakes and fire.
In such foolishness, it is the mother including the father who invariably rush to the child’s aid.
Gurbani tells us that it is natural for a child to have great faith and even pride in his father.
At Ang 396, Guru Arjun Dev Ji while thanking God for the birth of Hargobind Ji (later Guru Hargobind Ji), says…
ਜਿਉ ਬਾਲਕੁ ਪਿਤਾ ਊਪਰਿ ਕਰੇ ਬਹੁ ਮਾਣੁ ॥ (Ang 396)
Jio Baalak Pithaa Oopar Karae Bahu Maan ||
As the child places so much faith in his father,
“Jio balak pita upar karai baho maan bolaiay boli gur ke bhaan
From the worldly aspects of fatherhood, I will now speak of our Celestial Father – God.
Gurbani makes numerous references to God as a loving Father who cherishes all creation.
At Ang 611 we have Guru Arjun Dev Ji’s Shabad…
ਏਕੁ ਪਿਤਾ ਏਕਸ ਕੇ ਹਮ ਬਾਰਿਕ ਤੂ ਮੇਰਾ ਗੁਰ ਹਾਈ ॥ (Ang 611)
Eaek Pithaa Eaekas Kae Ham Baarik Thoo Maeraa Gur Haaee ||
The One God is our father; we are the children of the One God. You are our Guru.
In this world, the father is often the bread winner in most families. Gurbani says such a father is just carrying out his worldly duties. Each of us have duties to perform.
At Ang 71 we are reminded.
ਤੁਧੁ ਸੰਸਾਰੁ ਉਪਾਇਆ ॥
Thudhh Sansaar Oupaaeiaa ||
You created the world,
ਸਿਰੇ ਸਿਰਿ ਧੰਧੇ ਲਾਇਆ ॥
Sirae Sir Dhhandhhae Laaeiaa ||
And assigned tasks to one and all.
ਵੇਖਹਿ ਕੀਤਾ ਆਪਣਾ ਕਰਿ ਕੁਦਰਤਿ ਪਾਸਾ ਢਾਲਿ ਜੀਉ ॥੨॥
Vaekhehi Keethaa Aapanaa Kar Kudharath Paasaa Dtaal Jeeo ||2||
You watch over Your Creation, and through Your All-powerful Creative Potency, You cast the dice. ||2||
In Asa Ki Vaar, at Ang 472, we find..
ਵਡਹੁ ਵਡਾ ਵਡ ਮੇਦਨੀ ਸਿਰੇ ਸਿਰਿ ਧੰਧੈ ਲਾਇਦਾ ॥
Vaddahu Vaddaa Vadd Maedhanee Sirae Sir Dhhandhhai Laaeidhaa ||
The Lord is the greatest of the great; great is His world. He enjoins all to their tasks.
At Ang 1131, in Raag Bhairo we are told.
ਆਪੇ ਪਾਰਬ੍ਰਹਮੁ ਸ੍ਰਿਸਟਿ ਜਿਨਿ ਸਾਜੀ ਸਿਰਿ ਸਿਰਿ ਧੰਧੈ ਲਾਏ ॥
Aapae Paarabreham Srisatt Jin Saajee Sir Sir Dhhandhhai Laaeae ||
The Supreme Lord God Himself created the Universe; He links each and every person to their tasks.
We read daily in our Rahiras (Ang 10)
ਸਿਰਿ ਸਿਰਿ ਰਿਜਕੁ ਸੰਬਾਹੇ ਠਾਕੁਰੁ ਕਾਹੇ ਮਨ ਭਉ ਕਰਿਆ ॥੨॥
Sir Sir Rijak Sanbaahae Thaakur Kaahae Man Bho Kariaa ||2||
For each and every person, our Lord and Master provides sustenance. Why are you so afraid, O mind? ||2||
Gurbani thus says, any father who provides for the family is really carrying out a task set for him by God. Therefore, it would be wrong for any father to make ‘mehna’ or claim ‘mai tuhanu sareya nu kama ke dinda’. (I struggle and provide for all of you). The real Provider is God himself.
Harnaksh forgot this in his ego. As a father, he demanded his son Prahlad Ji should sing his praises ‘jai Harnaksh, jai Harnaksh’ instead of God’s praises. As a father, he was prepared to kill his own son. God decided otherwise. He killed Harnaksh instead. That is a teaching to all fathers.
All the Guru Sahibs, with the exception of Guru Harkrishan Ji, were fathers. They were ideal fathers. They were totally detached and did instruct their children. Some children do not listen. That is not then the fault of the fathers. Some examples of how the Gurus related to their children are…
- Guru Nanak Dev Ji did test his two son’s Sri Chand and Lakhmi Das before he chose Bhai Lahina Ji as the next Guru. Both sons refused to listen to Guruji’s advice. At Ang 967 Bhai Satta Ji and Rae Balwand ji confirms this. We are told:
ਪੁਤ੍ਰੀ ਕਉਲੁ ਨ ਪਾਲਿਓ ਕਰਿ ਪੀਰਹੁ ਕੰਨ੍ਹ੍ਹ ਮੁਰਟੀਐ ॥ (Ang 967)
Puthree Koul N Paaliou Kar Peerahu Kannh Muratteeai ||
His sons did not obey His Word; they turned their backs on Him as Guru.
ਦਿਲਿ ਖੋਟੈ ਆਕੀ ਫਿਰਨ੍ਹ੍ਹਿ ਬੰਨ੍ਹ੍ਹਿ ਭਾਰੁ ਉਚਾਇਨ੍ਹ੍ਹਿ ਛਟੀਐ ॥
Dhil Khottai Aakee Firanih Bannih Bhaar Ouchaaeinih Shhatteeai ||
These evil-hearted ones became rebellious; they carry loads of sin on their backs.
ਜਿਨਿ ਆਖੀ ਸੋਈ ਕਰੇ ਜਿਨਿ ਕੀਤੀ ਤਿਨੈ ਥਟੀਐ ॥
Jin Aakhee Soee Karae Jin Keethee Thinai Thhatteeai ||
Whatever the Guru said, Lehna did, and so he was installed on the throne.
ਕਉਣੁ ਹਾਰੇ ਕਿਨਿ ਉਵਟੀਐ ॥੨॥
Koun Haarae Kin Ouvatteeai ||2||
Who has lost, and who has won? ||2||
- Guru Angad Dev Ji’s two sons Bhai Datu Ji and Dasu Ji too did not follow their father’s teachings. Bhai Datu Ji thought as a son he would automatically succeed as Guru. Guru Angad Dev Ji chose Guru Amardas Ji instead and the two sons showed their anger. In fact, Bhai Datu kicked Guru Amardas Ji who in unmatched humility started massaging Datu Ji’s leg, all the while apologizing for his hard bones. Datu felt ashamed and went off but not before grabbing some items from Guru Amardas Ji which he insisted belonged to his family. As he went a short distance, the goods he had taken from Guru Amardas Ji, were taken by some robbers. His leg became numb and he had to drag his leg. In utter shame, he came to apologize to Guru Amardas Ji. Guru Ji said he did not keep any grudges and had already forgiven him. As Guru Ji blessed him, Datu regained sensation in his leg.
- Guru Amardas Ji gave a fair chance to his sons in law before he decided to bestow gurgaddi on Guru Ramdas ji.
- Guru Ramdas Ji was aware of the jealous and greedy nature of his eldest son, PrithviChand. He cautioned him against his evil nature. At Ang 1200 Sarang Mehla 4, Guru Ramdas Ji stresses in very strong terms that a son should listen to his father’s advice… [Of course, this Shabad applies on a wider level too, i.e. in our relationship with God]. Guru Ji says.
ਸਾਰਗ ਮਹਲਾ ੪ ਘਰੁ ੩ ਦੁਪਦਾ (Ang 1200)
Saarag Mehalaa 4 Ghar 3 Dhupadhaa
Saarang, Fourth Mehl, Third House, Du-Padas:
ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ ॥
Ik Oankaar Sathigur Prasaadh ||
One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:
ਕਾਹੇ ਪੂਤ ਝਗਰਤ ਹਉ ਸੰਗਿ ਬਾਪ ॥
Kaahae Pooth Jhagarath Ho Sang Baap ||
O son, why do you argue with your father?
ਜਿਨ ਕੇ ਜਣੇ ਬਡੀਰੇ ਤੁਮ ਹਉ ਤਿਨ ਸਿਉ ਝਗਰਤ ਪਾਪ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
Jin Kae Janae Baddeerae Thum Ho Thin Sio Jhagarath Paap ||1|| Rehaao ||
It is a sin to argue with the one who fathered you and raised you. ||1||Pause||
ਜਿਸੁ ਧਨ ਕਾ ਤੁਮ ਗਰਬੁ ਕਰਤ ਹਉ ਸੋ ਧਨੁ ਕਿਸਹਿ ਨ ਆਪ ॥
Jis Dhhan Kaa Thum Garab Karath Ho So Dhhan Kisehi N Aap ||
That wealth, which you are so proud of – that wealth does not belong to anyone.
ਖਿਨ ਮਹਿ ਛੋਡਿ ਜਾਇ ਬਿਖਿਆ ਰਸੁ ਤਉ ਲਾਗੈ ਪਛੁਤਾਪ ॥੧॥
Khin Mehi Shhodd Jaae Bikhiaa Ras Tho Laagai Pashhuthaap ||1||
In an instant, you shall have to leave behind all your corrupt pleasures; you shall be left to regret and repent. ||1||
ਜੋ ਤੁਮਰੇ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਹੋਤੇ ਸੁਆਮੀ ਹਰਿ ਤਿਨ ਕੇ ਜਾਪਹੁ ਜਾਪ ॥
Jo Thumarae Prabh Hothae Suaamee Har Thin Kae Jaapahu Jaap ||
He is God, your Lord and Master – chant the Chant of that Lord.
ਉਪਦੇਸੁ ਕਰਤ ਨਾਨਕ ਜਨ ਤੁਮ ਕਉ ਜਉ ਸੁਨਹੁ ਤਉ ਜਾਇ ਸੰਤਾਪ ॥੨॥੧॥੭॥
Oupadhaes Karath Naanak Jan Thum Ko Jo Sunahu Tho Jaae Santhaap ||2||1||7||
Servant Nanak spreads the Teachings; if you listen to it, you shall be rid of your pain. ||2||1||7||
- A father should advice his children against impending difficulties and challenges. In 1606 when Guru Ji was summoned by Jahangir to answer a summons against him, Guru Ji installed his son Hargobind Ji as Guru and advised him (Hargobind Ji) to arm himself and the Sikhs. Guru Hargobind Ji did so and in fact fought successfully four battles against the Moghuls.
So far, we can see that as fathers’, the Gurus made decisions no matter how difficult those decisions were. Similarly, a father should be decisive, completely independent and objective in his decisions. He should not take a lazy attitude and do nothing just hoping difficult situations will go away. He should be pro-active.
- Guru Hargobind Ji was blessed with a son, Baba Gurditta ji. His mother, Mata Ganga ji came with blessings and said ‘Jodhi ralay‘ i.e. may you be blessed with another son. Guru Hargobind Ji gently said to his mother ‘mata je assees deni eh keh ke mere ghar vich vich ek bachi da aagman hovai‘. In due course a daughter Bibi Viro Ji was born. The Gurus adored boys and girls alike.
- The Gurus were fearless as fathers. Guru Har Rai Ji’s eldest son Baba Ram Rai was sent by Guru Ji to Aurangzeb’s court. There Baba Ram Rai misquoted Guru Nanak Dev Ji’s Slok ‘miti musalman ki’ as ‘miti beimaan ki’. Guru Ji took the extraordinary step of ex-communicating Baba Ram Rai.
- Guru Harkrishan Ji. Although Guru Ji was only 5 years old when he became Guru, his love and respect for his father Guru Har Rai Ji was exemplary.
- Guru Tegh Bahadur Ji. Respected his father Guru Hargobind Ji very much. He totally agreed when Guru Hargobind Ji chose Guru Har Rai Ji as the 7th Guru. He did not sulk or show any resentment. Instead, he reverently treated Guru Har Rai Ji and Guru Har Krishan Ji as Guru Sahibs.
Although he was Guru, he treated the views of his son Gobind Rai Ji with respect when the Kashmiri pandits asked Guru Tegh Bahadur Ji to be their savior.
- Guru Gobind Singh Ji. Often referred to as the perfect son and father. It took an extraordinary father to send his elder two sons to sure death at Chamkaur. Guru Ji was so detached that when he heard the news of his younger two son’s being bricked alive at Sirhind he did not shed a tear.
That briefly sangat ji, is how the Gurus behaved as perfect fathers. Always spiritually attuned to Nirankaar, detached, honest, loving, decisive and inspirational to all.
At many places in SGGS Ji we are reminded that the Lord is our True Father. Bhagat Ravidas Ji however cautions us that we cannot CLAIM Him as our father as of right. We can only do so if we have love for Him. Bhagat Ji says
ਆਪਨ ਬਾਪੈ ਨਾਹੀ ਕਿਸੀ ਕੋ ਭਾਵਨ ਕੋ ਹਰਿ ਰਾਜਾ ॥ (Ang 658)
Aapan Baapai Naahee Kisee Ko Bhaavan Ko Har Raajaa ||
The Lord, our King, is father to no one, except those who love Him.
When ‘Gur Prasad’ occurs we find our perception of things totally changes. We view our Celestial Father in a completely different light. This is described at Ang 1141 by in Bhairo Mehla 5.
ਭੈਰਉ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥
Bhairo Mehalaa 5 ||
Bhairao, Fifth Mehl:
ਬਾਪੁ ਹਮਾਰਾ ਸਦ ਚਰੰਜੀਵੀ ॥
Baap Hamaaraa Sadh Charanjeevee ||
My Father is Eternal, forever alive.
ਭਾਈ ਹਮਾਰੇ ਸਦ ਹੀ ਜੀਵੀ ॥
Bhaaee Hamaarae Sadh Hee Jeevee ||
My brothers live forever as well.
ਮੀਤ ਹਮਾਰੇ ਸਦਾ ਅਬਿਨਾਸੀ ॥
Meeth Hamaarae Sadhaa Abinaasee ||
My friends are permanent and imperishable.
ਕੁਟੰਬੁ ਹਮਾਰਾ ਨਿਜ ਘਰਿ ਵਾਸੀ ॥੧॥
Kuttanb Hamaaraa Nij Ghar Vaasee ||1||
My family abides in the home of the self within. ||1||
ਹਮ ਸੁਖੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਤਾਂ ਸਭਹਿ ਸੁਹੇਲੇ ॥
Ham Sukh Paaeiaa Thaan Sabhehi Suhaelae ||
I have found peace, and so all are at peace.
ਗੁਰਿ ਪੂਰੈ ਪਿਤਾ ਸੰਗਿ ਮੇਲੇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
Gur Poorai Pithaa Sang Maelae ||1|| Rehaao ||
The Perfect Guru has united me with my Father. ||1||Pause||
ਮੰਦਰ ਮੇਰੇ ਸਭ ਤੇ ਊਚੇ ॥
Mandhar Maerae Sabh Thae Oochae ||
My mansions are the highest of all.
ਦੇਸ ਮੇਰੇ ਬੇਅੰਤ ਅਪੂਛੇ ॥
Dhaes Maerae Baeanth Apooshhae ||
My countries are infinite and uncountable.
ਰਾਜੁ ਹਮਾਰਾ ਸਦ ਹੀ ਨਿਹਚਲੁ ॥
Raaj Hamaaraa Sadh Hee Nihachal ||
My kingdom is eternally stable.
ਮਾਲੁ ਹਮਾਰਾ ਅਖੂਟੁ ਅਬੇਚਲੁ ॥੨॥
Maal Hamaaraa Akhoott Abaechal ||2||
My wealth is inexhaustible and permanent. ||2||
ਸੋਭਾ ਮੇਰੀ ਸਭ ਜੁਗ ਅੰਤਰਿ ॥
Sobhaa Maeree Sabh Jug Anthar ||
My glorious reputation resounds throughout the ages.
ਬਾਜ ਹਮਾਰੀ ਥਾਨ ਥਨੰਤਰਿ ॥
Baaj Hamaaree Thhaan Thhananthar ||
My fame has spread in all places and interspaces.
ਕੀਰਤਿ ਹਮਰੀ ਘਰਿ ਘਰਿ ਹੋਈ ॥
Keerath Hamaree Ghar Ghar Hoee ||
My praises echo in each and every house.
ਭਗਤਿ ਹਮਾਰੀ ਸਭਨੀ ਲੋਈ ॥੩॥
Bhagath Hamaaree Sabhanee Loee ||3||
My devotional worship is known to all people. ||3||
ਪਿਤਾ ਹਮਾਰੇ ਪ੍ਰਗਟੇ ਮਾਝ ॥
Pithaa Hamaarae Pragattae Maajh ||
My Father has revealed Himself within me.
ਪਿਤਾ ਪੂਤ ਰਲਿ ਕੀਨੀ ਸਾਂਝ ॥
Pithaa Pooth Ral Keenee Saanjh ||
The Father and son have joined together in partnership.
ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਜਉ ਪਿਤਾ ਪਤੀਨੇ ॥
Kahu Naanak Jo Pithaa Patheenae ||
Says Nanak, when my Father is pleased,
ਪਿਤਾ ਪੂਤ ਏਕੈ ਰੰਗਿ ਲੀਨੇ ॥੪॥੯॥੨੨॥
Pithaa Pooth Eaekai Rang Leenae ||4||9||22||
Then the Father and son are joined together in love, and become one. ||4||9||22|
For those who were not fortunate enough to share the love of a father on earth, do not lose heart – Guru Ji tells us at Ang 410 Asa Mehla 5
ਜਿਸ ਕਾ ਨਾਹਿ ਕੋਇ ਹਾਂ ॥
Jis Kaa Naahi Koe Haan ||
One who has no one to call his own
ਤਿਸ ਕਾ ਪ੍ਰਭੂ ਸੋਇ ਹਾਂ ॥
This Kaa Prabhoo Soe Haan ||
God belongs to him.
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh
Manjeet Singh
June 15, 2014
